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are one in the same, my dear.
if you donapos;t feel the jolt in your soul
every time a kiss is shared, a whisper spoken,
a touch is felt, then youapos;re not really in love at all.

I think there are many people here who experience the unfortunate feeling of "puppy love". Itapos;s an infatuation that ends in sorrow. Itapos;s amusing for those on the outside looking in.

Janetapos;s throwing a baby shower for my baby, and for all you overly-feminine boys that will probably be dragged into the shower, I will be approving all presents before hand. I donapos;t want crap for mine and Dianaapos;s baby.

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If anyone has visited my links page, youapos;d see that there are some things there that should be there but arenapos;t. Itapos;s taking a bit longer than I thought to find the files and then reupload them. So, if anyone is looking for the rest of the Kingdom Hearts Complete Original Soundtrack, you might have to wait until tomorrow, because megaupload has that "download limit exceeded" thing and wonapos;t let me download for two hours.

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Dear Fall Break,
I�love you. Even if youapos;re only a day long, instead of two.

I�had a perfect day. Stayed up late last night, hanging with friends, watching beavis and butthead, and enjoying the cold. Then I was able to sleep in and cuddle with miss sophie. Woke up to eat lunch and watch Jerry Springer. Vaccuumed. Washed Sophers and cleaned the bathroom. Took a nice long hot shower. Threw on a cute dress and watched Bridget Jonesapos; Diary. Made manicotti with Lynda and discussed why men are dickheads. Cleaned the kitchen up. Talked online. And now I am watching Bridget Jones 2.��:)

It was lovely laying in bed, enjoying the warmth of the covers. Not having a schedule and a bunch of crap to do. Having no worries. Being able to catch up on stuff I havenapos;t had time to do recently.

Yay to: best friends, hugs and kisses, laughing, bridget jones :), honesty, being a woman, i love yous,�manicotti, root beer, being lazy, comfty beds, raspberry tea, good 90s music, funny texts,� looking for an internship, restraining myself, and good rap music.

Boo to: not getting my oil changed, not hearing from my brothers, being treated like iapos;m 5 yrs old, cramps, having loads of laundry, worrying about the future, missing friends, and bipolar people.

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Front squats are one of those exercises that are so frustrating because you canapos;t just try harder and expect it to work. Wait a second, the back squat is like this too huh? This is why I love dead lifting, "huh this is awfully heavy, I donapos;t think I can lift this, oh wait, I just need to try harder"

But yeah, so I tried front squats today. I canapos;t do a high hang. This is when the lift has there arms out in front of them, the bar resting on their shoulders, and their elbow bent and fingers tucked under the bar. This doesnapos;t seem like it will work until you try and find your shoulders cradle the bar rather well when youapos;ve got your arms up and out. I can get my fingers tucked under the bar but my stretched tissues push back on the bar and get it out of place unless I lean forward a bit to compensate. I wonapos;t be able to do that when I start using reasonable poundages but by then I should have mastered the high hang.

I did overhead squats too. Iapos;m not even close to ready to start doing real work with them but by my third set I was doing rather good looking oneapos;s. Having a mirrored wall to squat in front of is awesome My hips are slowly getting more flexible and eventually I wonapos;t be leaning forward much at all when I squat. Itapos;s going to be amazing.

I did power cleans too. Iapos;m amazing at those. "Well I heard that Joe once dead lifted a bar so fast he landed three feet away holding 200 lbs at his shoulders." "Well I heard he once power cleaned so much when he landed he broke throw the floor and then the earth and came out in China where he lived for several years."

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I heard that song no less than six times today. But I�still really like it. Oh God.

Womanizer by Britney Spears has grown on me. Oh Godx2.

I�have been on such a posting craze lately I�donapos;t even know why Exclamation points
I made up a lab today, and it blew, but I�at least yielded a product. I�was making it up since I completely fucking ruined it the first time. I was the last one to leave. I�hate chemistry, btw. Also, Iapos;m pretty sure my TA thinks Iapos;m retarded and she very clearly does not like me. Meh, whatever. Six more weeks, and we never have to see each other again. I also broke two glassware items today Yay

What elseeeeeeeeeeee? I am so awake Iapos;ve been getting scattered hours of sleep for the past couple of days, but after this morning, I�can sleep in Well, tonight, at least.

In my car, I was wondering (and no, this is not a jab. Real curiousity) over CDs and tapes people made me. I wonder if any of them recycled the songs on another person. Iapos;d like to hope not, but I guess itapos;s pretty possible. I might be guilty of it. It doesnapos;t totally matter, though, because I still love the tapes I got in high-school and the CDs after, and all the songs exes showed me somewhere along the line. I have a lot of associations to people through songs. I like it. Itapos;s always reminding me of things I temporarily forget. Plus, eventually you just get to like things because you honestly just enjoy them, right? Itapos;s only mus--no, movies, too, I�suppose. Anything else? Well, in my case, clothes. I have a habit of accumulating. I STILL have some of Artapos;s pants, and I�dated him sophomore year of high school. Theyapos;re all worn. I got a new pair of plaid pants like them, which are much more comfy, but there is no dance for them. I have shirts from clubbing with Angela, and jeans I could only dream of fitting a leg in, now. I used to have Caitapos;s hoodie.�I wore it all through high school, with that huge rip in the sleeve from jumping a fence.�I�wore a few pairs of her socks into the ground, too. Scoutapos;s sweater, which everyone thinks is ugly, but I find too snuggly to care...Haha, Iapos;m terrible.

Who knows Iapos;m a fool for the itty bits of hope I let sneak into my head. But I donapos;t care Oh, the exclamation points

Maybe maybe maybe....Time to study some more
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Today was just terrible in frech, we were gonna have a test and i asked Nilson if your supose to write the question on top and the answer at the bottom. But before Nilson could answer, Mrs Souli says " Nilson, stop charming the girl " i slouched into my so low, that i was nearly under the table >_<

And then at lunch, i was in the library, and squidward and patrick were there,� and so was Nilson (duh, he is always there... >_> ) and squid said to me "haha, spongebob (Nilson) was charming me. I felt like punching him really hard in the face and then patrick started to laugh (with those two, bunny size front teeths of his dangling outside his mouth) and then spongebob comes and i turn all red (my cheeks were even redder cuz my cheeks are natural red, which makes people go " oh what a cute little angel..")
so i went into my goth corner near the manga and joke books, and squidward calls me and said " Spongebob had got a crush on you and is gonna propose to you in 5 minutes..." ooh gosh...i think iapos;m gonna be sick and then the bell went and i went to english class....

After that in drama club, squidward kept teasing me and Bushra. I told him, "well your jealous hehe, you want Spongebob for yourself lol" and he went all red....

i think its time that i create another evil plan... MUAHAHAHAHAHA XD

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�thank you God for this awesome birthday=)
the birds were really singing. And the sun shinning.
and you made me see the butterflies. As if they were gifts and presents for me.

just wanna thank you for the friends you have placed in my life. In engineering. In hall... In church
in engineering because i have never met people so real to each other before... That it just warms my heart.
in hall because theyapos;re just the playful bunch they are.
in church. Because this will be the people i will go through life with

but most importantly, i want to thank you for my family. Because through it all. They were with me through all my nonsense up till now
and they still love me unconditionally.
thank you God.

because i am thoroughly blessed.
a daughter of the God most high.
i know i can be a little spoilt. Haha.�
but thank you God. Even my nonsense can put a smile on your face. How can it be?
=) loving you God.

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Hoy cierro esta p�gina que por a�os he tenido abierta, me retiro por causas de salud. Mi coraz�n se ha da�ado, ha recibido un impacto muy profundo. Cuando lo pienso, viene a mi memoria el meteorito que extingui� a los dinosaurios, dicen los que saben que se levant� una nube de polvo que cubro la tierra por varios d�as, primero haciendo que desaparecieran las plantas y luego los animales superiores.
As� es hoy mi vida, cubierta por una nube de por qu�s, haciendo que se apague todo indicio de vida en mi interior. Quise y quise demasiado, me permit� volar con mis propias alas sin saber que que no sab�a volar. Estrell� todo mi ser contra un suelo que no tuvo compasi�n de m� deja mis huesos adoloridos, mi carne hecha girones, mis manos desgarradas al querer asirme de alg�n lugar y detener mi ca�da.
Me voy sabiendo que te quise con todo mi coraz�n, que viv� enamorado de ti hasta el �ltimo momento, que la esperanza me acompa�a as� como la luz de tus ojos. S�lo los recuerdos de aquellos encuentros, solo ideas vagas de lo que pudo ser y no fue. Te dedico la l�grima que cae por mi mejilla, es tuya, es para t�.


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